Women
From Marriage to Parenthood:
The Heavenly Path (12)
A Book By Abbas and Shaheen Merali
'Aqiqah A Closer Look
Importance of carrying out 'Aqiqah
It is narrated that the life of a child is bound by 'Aqiqah, and if it is not carried out, it exposes one to tribulation and death. If delayed, it is sunnah on the father until the bulugh of the child, and after bulugh, it is sunnah on the child himself.
It is narrated from Imam as-Sadiq (as) that aqiqah is necessary for any rich man, and if one is poor, he should perform aqiqah once he obtains some money, and if he does not obtain any money, then it is ok. If one has not performed aqiqah, and he carried out a sacrifice (qurbani), this will suffice.
It is narrated that somebody asked Imam as-Sadiq (as): “We have asked for a sheep for aqiqah but cannot get one, what do you suggest? Should we give the value of the sheep as Sadaqah instead?” Imam replied, “No, ask until you get one as Allah (swt) likes the feeding of (others)...”
'Umar bin Yazid narrates that he asked Imam as-Sadiq (as): “I don't know if my father performed aqiqah for me or not.” Imam replied, “Perform it,” and so he performed aqiqah in his old age.
In another tradition it is related that somebody asked Imam as-Sadiq (as) that if a child dies on the 7th day, should aqiqah still be carried out? Imam replied if the child dies before Zuhr, aqiqah is not necessary, but if the child died after Zuhr, then do it.
What should be slaughtered?
It is common among the ulema that the 'Aqiqah should be a sheep, a camel or a goat, and that the 'Aqiqah of a boy should be a male animal and the 'Aqiqah of a girl should be a female animal.
If it is a camel, it should be 5 years or older. If it is a goat, it should be 1 year or older. If it is a sheep, it should be at least 6 months or older and it is better if the 7th month has been completed. Its testicles should not be cut and it is better if the testicles is not squashed either. Its horn should not be broken (such that it bled) and its ears should not be cut. It should not be too thin, nor blind, nor should it be so lame that walking is difficult for it.
However, it is important to note that as narrated from Imam as-Sadiq (as), 'Aqiqah is not the same as sacrifice (qurbani) which has stricter criteria for the type of animal that is sacrificed. Therefore, if it is not possible that the above criteria be met, any sheep is fine, although the fatter it is the better.
Du'as at the time of 'Aqiqah
At the time of slaughtering the animal for 'Aqiqah, the following supplications should be recited:
1. At the end of the supplication, one should say his name and the name of his father [for example, if the father's name is Tahir and his father's name is 'Abdullah you would say, Tahir ibne (the son of) 'Abdullah]. This supplication begins with Verses 78 and 79 of Surat al-An'am followed by Verses 162 and 169 of Surat al-An'am:
“O my nation! Surely I disown myself from that which you associate (with Allah (swt)).” “Surely I have turned my entire presence towards He who has brought forth the Heavens and the Earth, sincerely and I am not of those who set up partners (with Allah (swt)). Surely my Salat and my sacrifice and my life and my death are all entirely for Allah (swt), the Lord of the All the Worlds, He has no partners and to this I have been commanded (to attest to) and I am the first of those who submit as Muslims.” “O' Allah (swt)! Surely this (animal) is from You and it goes back to You in the Name of Allah (swt) and Allah (swt) is greater than any description which can be mentioned of Him. O Allah (swt)! Shower your prayers upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad and accept this from [your name and your father's name.]”
2. The following supplication should also be read while the animal is being slaughtered (whether the child is a boy or girl):
“In the Name of Allah (swt) and in Allah (swt) and All Praise belongs solely to Allah (swt) and Allah (swt) is Greater than any description which can be mentioned of Him. With full faith in Allah (swt) and admiration upon the Messenger of Allah (swt) (may the blessings of Allah (swt) be upon him and his family) and they are thankful for the sustenance of Allah (swt) and the protection afforded by the command of Allah (swt) and complete cognizance with His bounties upon us the Ahlul Bayt.”
If the child is a boy, then the following supplication should also be said:
“O Allah (swt)! You have gifted us with a son and You know better what You have gifted us, and back to You is that which You have granted to us and back to You is that which we make - so then accept from it (this sacrifice) from us upon Your Tradition (Sunnah) and the Tradition (Sunnah) of Your Messenger (may the blessings of Allah (swt) be upon him and his family) and keep us distanced from the accursed Satan. For You the blood (of this animal) has been spilt, and You have no partners and all the Praise belongs solely to Allah (swt), the Lord of all the Worlds.”
3. The follow supplication should also be recited at the time of the slaughtering of the animal. When one reaches to the square brackets, you would say the name of the child and his or her father [for example, if the child's name is Jabir and his father's name is Kumayl, then you would say: Jabir ibne (the son of) Kumayl] and then continue on with the rest of the supplication. The first version of the supplication is for a boy, the second supplication is if the child is a girl.[Name of child and his father]
“In the Name of Allah (swt) and by Allah (swt), this aqiqah (slaughtering of an animal) is for [name of the child and his father's first name]. Its flesh instead of his flesh; its blood instead of his blood; its bones instead of his bones are all offered to You. O Allah (swt)! accept it for that by which this child may be protected and preserved, in the name of the progeny of Muhammad, blessings of Allah (swt) be upon him and his progeny.[Name of child and her father]
“In the Name of Allah (swt) and by Allah (swt), this aqiqah (slaughtering of an animal) is for [name of the child and her father's first name]. Its flesh instead of her flesh; its blood instead of her blood; its bones instead of her bones are all offered to You. O Allah (swt)! accept it for that by which this child may be protected and preserved, in the name of the progeny of Muhammad, blessings of Allah (swt) be upon him and his progeny.”
How should it be distributed?
It is recommended that the bones should not be broken; rather they should be separated at the joints. It is also better that the meat be distributed cooked (with at least salt and water) and the raw hide be given as Sadaqah.
It is recommended that the legs and thighs of the aqiqah (this can either be counted as one third or one fourth of the sheep depending on the method of division) should be given to the mid-wife (or doctor) that helped during the delivery and the rest should be given to the people to eat as Sadaqah. If the mid-wife or doctor is a Jew, then the value of a quarter of a sheep should be given.
If the child was born without a mid-wife or doctor, it should be given to the mother who can give it to whomever she wants; she should give it to at least ten Muslims, and if she can give it to more, it is better. It is not necessary that the meat should only be given to the poor; however, it is better that it is given to the pious and the poor.
It is recommended that the father and mother (and those who are dependant on them, such as parents and children) do not eat from the cooked meat of the 'Aqiqah, and this has been emphasized especially for the mother.
Recommended Method of Congratulating One on the Birth of a Child
It is narrated from Imam as-Sadiq (as) that he congratulated someone for the child that God had blessed him with in the following manner (there have been many similar narrations from Imam Hasan (as) also):.“May Allah (swt) bless you, and bless that which He has granted you, and make him reach physical maturity, and (May) Allah (swt) bless you with his righteousness.”
Naming the Child
Importance of naming the child
It is narrated from Imam al-Kadhim (as) that the first good a father can do for his child is to give him a good name.
It is the right of the child that his parents give him a good name and treat him well. In another tradition it is narrated that among the rights of a child are a good name, teaching him to write and marrying him off when he reaches the age of bulugh.
When to name the child
It is narrated from Imam 'Ali (as): “A child should be named while in the stomach, and if not named and is miscarried, on the Day of Judgement it will ask its father, “Why did you not name me?” The Prophet (s) named Muhsin, the son of Hadrat Fatima while in the stomach, and Muhsin is that child that after the Prophet (s) passed away, he was still in the stomach when 'Umar made him a martyr.”
It is narrated from the Imams (as) that: “A son is not born to us, the Ahlul Bayt, except that he is named Muhammad for 7 days, and then if desired, it can be changed or removed.”
It has been mentioned in Fiqh al-Rida that fix the name (i.e. announce the name to others) on the 7th day.
Recommended names
Naming the children after the Ahlul Bayt (as) is an open declaration of love and friendship towards them, and religion is nothing but love and friendship of the Ahlul Bayt (as), as Allah (swt) states in the Noble Qur'an, in Surat Ali-'Imran, Verse 31:
“If you love Allah (swt), then follow me (the Prophet (s)); Allah (swt) will love you…”
It is narrated from Imam al-Baqir (as) that the most suitable names for a child are those that denotes servitude to Allah (swt), like 'Abdullah (servant of Allah (swt)), and the best names for a child are those of the Prophet (s)s.
The Prophet (s) said that whoever has four children and has not named any of them after me, has oppressed me.
It is narrated from the Prophet (s): “In a house where the names of some of the individuals are of Prophet (s)s, the blessings of that house will never disappear.”
In another tradition, it has been narrated from Imam al-Kadhim (as) that poverty and indigence will never enter the house in which the name Muhammad, or Ahmad, or 'Ali, or Hasan, or Husain, or Ja'far, or Talib, or 'Abdullah, or Fatima is present.
It is narrated from Imam Husain (as): “If I had a hundred children, I would have liked to name all of them 'Ali.”
It is narrated that a person came to the Prophet (s) and asked, “A son has come to us, what should I name him?” The Prophet (s) replied, “Name him the best of names with me, and that is Hamza.”
It is narrated from Jabir who said: I went with Imam al-Baqir (as) to someone's house and a child came out. Imam asked him, “What is your name?” He replied, “Muhammad.” Imam asked him, “What is your title (kunyah)?” He replied, “Abu 'Ali.” Imam said, “You have taken yourself out of Satan's stronghold. Surely, every time Satan hears someone being called, Ya Muhammad! Ya 'Ali! he withers away and when he hears someone being called by the name of our enemies, he becomes happy and takes pride in that.”
In another tradition it is narrated that someone came to Imam as-Sadiq (as) and said that Allah (swt) had given him a boy. Imam congratulated him, and asked, “What have you named him?” He replied, “Muhammad.” Imam turned his head down towards the floor and kept repeating the name Muhammad until his face almost touched the ground. Then he said, “My life, my children, my wives, my father, my mother and all of the people of this earth be sacrificed for the Prophet (s). Because you have given him such a blessed name, do not abuse him and do not hit him and do not make bad reach him. And know this that there is not a house in which the name of Muhammed is present, but that everyday, that house is made Noble and pure.”
In another tradition it is narrated that one should respect a daughter whose name is Fatima and not abuse her and never hit her.
The titles of Hadrat Fatima (as) can also be used for names of daughters:
Mubaraka: The one who is blessed.
Tahira: The one who is pure.
Zakiyya: The one who is wise.
Radiya: The one who is content.
Mardiyya: The one whom Allah (swt) is pleased with.
Siddiqa: The one who is truthful.
Muhaddathah: The one that angels talk to.
Muhaddithah: The one that narrates traditions.
Zahra: The luminous one.
Names not recommended
In several traditions it has been narrated that the Prophet (s) has forbidden naming a child with the following names: Hakim, Hakim, Khalid and Malik. And he has said that the worst names with Allah (swt) are Harith, Malik and Khalid. And when the name is Muhammad, he has forbidden 4 titles (kunyah): Abu 'Isa, Abul Hakim, Abu Malik and Abul Qasim, as both the name and title are not agreeable to the Prophet (s).
In tradition, it has been narrated that one should not name the child Yasin, as that is specific to the Prophet (s).
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